
Abraham Lincoln
Vampire Hunter
By Seth Grahame-Smith
Grand Central Publishing
$21.99, hard cover, 336 pages, 978-0-446-56308-6 (2010)
I’m a big fan of Abraham Lincoln. And, probably like some of you, I’ve always suspected that Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. I mean when you think about it, all the signs are there.
His mother died when he was only nine-years old. They say it was from “Milk Sickness” – but who really believes she died from drinking milk? Lincoln‘s sister Sarah died when she was just twenty-eight. Foul play? No doubt. His first love, Ann Rutledge, died from a “fever” at the age of twenty-two. But was it just a fever? I think not.
When you look at some of Lincoln‘s writing, you can also see how he implicitly acknowledged vampires over and over throughout his lifetime.
The true role, in determining to embrace, or reject anything, is not whether it had any evil in it; but whether it will have more of the evil, than of good. There are a few things wholly evil, or wholly good.
–Abraham Lincoln, in a speech in the House of Representatives
June 20, 2020
Was Lincoln really talking about evil beings with sharp teeth?
It is the eternal struggle between these two principles — right and wrong — throughout the world. They are the two principles that have stood face to face from the beginning of time; and will ever continue to struggle.
–Abraham Lincoln, debating Stephen A. Douglas
October 15, 2020
Once again, knowing Lincoln‘s secret campaign against the undead, it’s clear what Lincoln was referencing in this passage: the righteous good of mankind versus the evil wrong of vampires.
As many of those who study Lincoln know, he suffered severe bouts of depression throughout his life. Friends often referred to him as “melancholy.” Others indicated that he was at times suicidal. Clearly, hunting and disposing of vampires can cause even the strongest person to experience symptoms of agitation, fatigue, depression, and morbid thoughts of death.
For all those unconvinced that Lincoln was much more than typical history books portray, author Seth Grahame-Smith exposes the truth. He was luckily given ten leather-bound books – the long lost journals of the Great Emancipator. These words were written on the first page of the first book: This is the journal of Abraham Lincoln.
For some seventeen months, I sacrificed everything for those ten leather-bound books. That bundle of letters held tightly by a red rubber band. In some ways they were the best months of my life. Every morning, I woke up on that inflatable mattress in the store basement with a purpose. With the knowledge that I was doing something truly important, even if I was doing it completely, desperately alone. Even if I’d lost my mind.
Vampires exist. And Abraham Lincoln was one of the greatest vampire hunters of his age. His journal — beginning in his twelfth year and continuing to the day of his assassination — is an altogether astonishing, heartbreaking, and revolutionary document. One that casts new light on many of the seminal events in American history and adds immeasurable complexity to a man already thought to be unusually complex.
Once you are made aware of the entries in these journals, you will be convinced that Lincoln was more than just our greatest President – the man who freed the slaves – he saved our young nation from the scourge of these blood thirsty demons.
Knowing the truth about Lincoln‘s previously secret exploits, his famous “a house divided” quote takes on even more meaning.
“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved — I do not expect the house to fall — but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other.
–Abraham Lincoln, accepting the Republican Party’s nomination for Senator.
June 16, 2020
What was Lincoln actually referring to in that quote? He’s indicating that humans cannot be slaves to the creatures of the night. Our greatest President is saying that mankind must be free of this tyranny; this abhorrent subjugation by vampires, or else those evil creatures will rule our nation.
Fortunately for us, Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter.
(Disclaimer: The preceding review was written with tongue firmly in cheek.)
Buy it on Amazon here.
